What does a bookish, peace-loving escapist do when she has four children ages five and under? Run? Hide under the covers? (Many days I’ve wanted to.) Or pray? Life with my little “bonbons” has driven me to prayer more than anything else. My life drives me to desperation on a near-daily basis. I find that the pressure of my current circumstances is what has motivated me to seek the Lord with a passion and intensity previously unknown to me. I used to float through life in a semi-dream state (just ask my mom). Now I am forced to encounter present reality nearly every moment of the day.
As I write this, I am sitting at the house of prayer. My wakeful (and, for the past hour-and-a-half, fussy) seven-week-old is struggling against the wrap in which I have him tied to me. I'm hoping he’ll go to sleep. I would like to snatch half an hour of peace away from the house which never seems quite picked up no matter how hard I try, the laundry that is never fully done, and the computer that beckons me to plan, research, buy, do, and escape through hours of endless browsing.
There is always far more to do than I can possibly accomplish. After I have cared for my children’s physical and emotional needs there is always much more I want or need to do: more housework, more email, more reading (yeah right, though I do snatch time for my favorite activity), more study, more projects … and even when I stop to spend time with the Lord, I have to choose how I will do it. Do I turn on the IHOP stream and worship? Or do I do an in-depth Bible study (and, if that, which of the many studies I want to do will I work on today)? Do I read something from my stack of books or listen to an RHOP podcast? Do I meditate on one verse or read several chapters? Or do I simply sit quietly and listen? I feel overwhelmed with options.
I am becoming convinced that which option I choose isn’t really the issue. God is not limited to one form of communication. He can speak to me through any of them. The real question is why I am coming into His presence. Is it to check another task off my to-do list, or to encounter Him? Over the past few years, I have made several lifestyle choices to make more room for seeking the Lord. But even with fewer distractions in my life, it is too easy to fill every moment with noise, even if the noise comes only from my own thoughts. In the midst of living a lifestyle meant to encourage the pursuit of God, I can still miss actually meeting with Him.
Lord, help me! Help me to let go of everything but my hunger for You. Stoke the flame of desire in me until everything else falls away and I am face-to-face with You. “I will seek You in the quiet place” of my soul. Amid the noise of life, let my spirit rest in You until all is quiet within. Let me be attentive to what is on Your heart today.
The baby finally fell asleep. :)
This was written in my journal several months ago, but I am just now posting it. It seems appropriate as we begin focusing on The Power of a Focused Life for the next few weeks.
Showing posts with label knowing God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label knowing God. Show all posts
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Season We're In
I wrote this post on my personal blog to share my thoughts on adoption, but I thought that it might be encouraging to all moms. Please click here if you'd like to read it.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Getting Noticed
"But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him." (1 Corinthians 8:3 NKJV).
How can I love You? I really want to be known by You. But knowing more about You doesn't necessarily mean that I love you, for "knowledge puffs up" my ego if it is not grounded in love (8:1). Signs and wonders, prophetic insight, acts of mercy, and martyrdom do not in themselves cause me to be known by You. In fact, without love, they simply cause me to be a noisy irritation, worth nothing and gaining nothing (13:1-3). Though I am often jealous of those who have more prophetic giftings than I, they are not what get me noticed by You. Well then, what will get me noticed?
Love ... true love. (Insert Princess Bride accent here.)
What is true love? 1 Corinthians 13 goes on to explain what love is, so I will look there.
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up ..." (13:4). How can I suffer long with you? Perhaps by patiently receiving whatever You bring my way without complaining. Perhaps by being patient with those You bring into my path. Love for You is expressed by not being envious of what You've given others or boastful of what You've given me. If my love for You is true, it "does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked ..." (13:5). My Beloved, how have I behaved rudely toward You? How have I sought my own? How have I been provoked at You?
"I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these My brothers and sisters, you were doing it to Me!" (Matthew 25:40 NLT).
You love Me by loving My brothers. You hate Me by hating My brothers. When you are patient with one of Mine, you are patient with Me. What you are selfish and rude toward one of them, you are selfish and rude toward Me. It is no understatement to say that every interaction with one of My children is interaction with Me. Your prayers are not the only holy conversations you have. Every conversation is holy because you are having it with one of Mine, which is the same as having it with Me. Do not profane what is holy. Approach each one of My beloved ones as you would approach Me. Would you approach My manifest presence in arrogance or with anger? No, you would approach Me in humility and with an open heart. Do the same with those who are Mine. Begin to see Me in every person, for "this one, s/he is Mine" (Misty Edwards). Whatever you do or say to them, I take very personally. You have dozens of opportunities every day to show kindness to Me. Do not throw them away. For I do not forget the smallest kindness. I will abundantly reward those who love Me in this way, by showing kindness to my brethren. And I will also reward those who show kindness to you, My beloved.
You are so kind, Jesus, so merciful and gentle. I fall so short of loving You truly. Please do in and through me all that You have said, for I really want to be known by You.
How can I love You? I really want to be known by You. But knowing more about You doesn't necessarily mean that I love you, for "knowledge puffs up" my ego if it is not grounded in love (8:1). Signs and wonders, prophetic insight, acts of mercy, and martyrdom do not in themselves cause me to be known by You. In fact, without love, they simply cause me to be a noisy irritation, worth nothing and gaining nothing (13:1-3). Though I am often jealous of those who have more prophetic giftings than I, they are not what get me noticed by You. Well then, what will get me noticed?
Love ... true love. (Insert Princess Bride accent here.)
What is true love? 1 Corinthians 13 goes on to explain what love is, so I will look there.
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up ..." (13:4). How can I suffer long with you? Perhaps by patiently receiving whatever You bring my way without complaining. Perhaps by being patient with those You bring into my path. Love for You is expressed by not being envious of what You've given others or boastful of what You've given me. If my love for You is true, it "does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked ..." (13:5). My Beloved, how have I behaved rudely toward You? How have I sought my own? How have I been provoked at You?
"I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these My brothers and sisters, you were doing it to Me!" (Matthew 25:40 NLT).
You love Me by loving My brothers. You hate Me by hating My brothers. When you are patient with one of Mine, you are patient with Me. What you are selfish and rude toward one of them, you are selfish and rude toward Me. It is no understatement to say that every interaction with one of My children is interaction with Me. Your prayers are not the only holy conversations you have. Every conversation is holy because you are having it with one of Mine, which is the same as having it with Me. Do not profane what is holy. Approach each one of My beloved ones as you would approach Me. Would you approach My manifest presence in arrogance or with anger? No, you would approach Me in humility and with an open heart. Do the same with those who are Mine. Begin to see Me in every person, for "this one, s/he is Mine" (Misty Edwards). Whatever you do or say to them, I take very personally. You have dozens of opportunities every day to show kindness to Me. Do not throw them away. For I do not forget the smallest kindness. I will abundantly reward those who love Me in this way, by showing kindness to my brethren. And I will also reward those who show kindness to you, My beloved.
You are so kind, Jesus, so merciful and gentle. I fall so short of loving You truly. Please do in and through me all that You have said, for I really want to be known by You.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
