A deceptive fantasy has been my constant companion. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "You can do it. You have to do it. You can slow down once you get it all done. Then you can play with your kids. Then you can take them to the park. Then you can relax."
The elusive then.
And recently I realized something profound.
Then will never come.
The fantasy shifts, elusive. Some days it looks like a spic 'n' span house. (Most days.)
Some days it looks like six baby books all updated and full of pictures (ha!).
Some days it looks like all the kids' school work done and all our goals met for the week.
Some days it looks like all the laundry caught up [hysterical laughter].
The fantasy changes, but one thing is consistent. Whatever I have accomplished, it tells me that I must do more. There is no time to be, for it always demands more.
So I have made a decision.
No more fantasy.
I am going to live my dream life now. Right in the middle of the mess, piles of laundry that are never caught up, toys that are never all picked up, dishes that are never completely done, baby books that may never be caught up, and goals that may rarely be met.
I will enjoy my life and enjoy my children. Today.
Goodbye, deceptive fantasy. Hello, beautiful reality.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Sunday, March 07, 2010
House Rules
Yesterday I followed Stephanie's lead and asked my children to tell me some of our house rules. I was curious what would stand out to them. Here are their responses.
Laughter:
1. To not whine, fuss, or fight.
2. Don't stop cleaning.
3. Don't play with water or in the bathroom.
4. Do not fight, or kick, except when you're outside you can kick a ball.
5. Don't stop cleaning.
(You would think we make her clean 24/7!)
Little Tree:
1. Do not panic.
2. Don't do something without asking.
3. Don't feed babies without asking.
4. Don't play with Thunder in his crib without asking.
(I guess this explains why he always asks permission to do anything!)
Rainbow:
1. No going into the boys' room before breakfast.
2. No swinging on the banisters.
3. No climbing on the furniture.
4. No standing on the toy chest.
5. No being rough with the babies.
6. No waking up Mommy during nap time. (You got it!)
7. No pulling hair.
8. No putting blankets over babies.
9. No snatching.
10. No putting things in babies' mouths.
11. Be generous. (Awwww ...)
(And she reminds her siblings of these and many other rules regularly.)
How about you? What do your kids say the house rules are in your home?
Laughter:
1. To not whine, fuss, or fight.
2. Don't stop cleaning.
3. Don't play with water or in the bathroom.
4. Do not fight, or kick, except when you're outside you can kick a ball.
5. Don't stop cleaning.
(You would think we make her clean 24/7!)
Little Tree:
1. Do not panic.
2. Don't do something without asking.
3. Don't feed babies without asking.
4. Don't play with Thunder in his crib without asking.
(I guess this explains why he always asks permission to do anything!)
Rainbow:
1. No going into the boys' room before breakfast.
2. No swinging on the banisters.
3. No climbing on the furniture.
4. No standing on the toy chest.
5. No being rough with the babies.
6. No waking up Mommy during nap time. (You got it!)
7. No pulling hair.
8. No putting blankets over babies.
9. No snatching.
10. No putting things in babies' mouths.
11. Be generous. (Awwww ...)
(And she reminds her siblings of these and many other rules regularly.)
How about you? What do your kids say the house rules are in your home?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Daily Receiving Practice
Here is a guest post by Christina Lovell. She is sharing what God spoke to her through Caron Loveless at a recent women's meeting at The Rock of Roseville. I have been trying this for the past few weeks and it is impacting my perspective already!
"We can not give what we do not have."
"We can not give what we do not have."
In the Old Testament, the first five of the Ten Commandments are about loving God first. The last five are about loving others. In the New Testament, JESUS gave a new commandment, "... that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another" (John 13:34, NKJV).
Loving others is how we show that we love God. We are loving God by loving others. Loving Others = Loving God. But it is impossible to do this without receiving HIS love first. As humans our love leaks. Our love is handicapped (due to such things as life wounds, ways we were mistreated, how we were raised, when we were not shown God's love, etc.)
Try this "Daily Receiving Practice" each day to RECEIVE His love for you personally. Out of His love, we can then love others.
Loving others is how we show that we love God. We are loving God by loving others. Loving Others = Loving God. But it is impossible to do this without receiving HIS love first. As humans our love leaks. Our love is handicapped (due to such things as life wounds, ways we were mistreated, how we were raised, when we were not shown God's love, etc.)
Try this "Daily Receiving Practice" each day to RECEIVE His love for you personally. Out of His love, we can then love others.
Each day, take five minutes to sit in a quiet place. Lie down and close your eyes. (As women, if we sit up and look around, we can get distracted by what needs to be done around us.) Do not worship, try to press in, or pray. Simply say "Lord, You see me here. You love me completely." Breathe His love in, and breathe it out.
Then, throughout the day, look for moments HE will give to extend HIS love to others. At night write down how you loved that day. If there were times you missed it, JESUS replies, you must have forgotten how much I love you! Love better next time.
This has truly changed my life. I sit to receive His love even if I've missed my quiet time before our children get up. I remember one morning. as I sat receiving, I heard our children running toward me. I said, "Lord, here they come!" And HE said, "I will pour my love out on you even if you cannot give Me the five minutes. Because you have chosen the better part, to receive, I will freely give what you need in a moment of time."
Share this practice with your children. Do it together! You will be surprised at the unity and love they will have for their brothers, sisters, and God. Remember, "We love HIM because HE first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Receive His love together and then see how it flows out to one another.
"As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love" (John 15:9).
"... the greatest of these is love" (1 Corinthians 13:13).
"Let all that you do be done with love" (1Corinthians 16:14).
Monday, March 09, 2009
What Really Matters
Yesterday I had one of those kinds of experiences that makes you reflect on life. I visited a friend who is in prison. It was an intense, emotional time. Today I am in a sort of limbo. Grieving for my friend and the hardship she is going through, and constantly lifting her up in prayer, while trying to resume my normal life.
I don't have major goals for the day. Just caring for my children and my home. It would be easier if I could distract myself with a busy day. I would be able to ignore the ache inside, or at least try to fill it with a new purchase or a fun experience.
But now, sitting outside in the sun, swinging my one-year-old and blowing bubbles with my three-year-old, I feel peace. No, the world isn't fair. Yes, I long for Jesus to return and make things right. My friend is still clinging desperately to God in the midst of trials far greater than I can comprehend. But yesterday I did what mattered. Today I can do the same. In simplicity of this moment, I can love.
I don't have major goals for the day. Just caring for my children and my home. It would be easier if I could distract myself with a busy day. I would be able to ignore the ache inside, or at least try to fill it with a new purchase or a fun experience.
But now, sitting outside in the sun, swinging my one-year-old and blowing bubbles with my three-year-old, I feel peace. No, the world isn't fair. Yes, I long for Jesus to return and make things right. My friend is still clinging desperately to God in the midst of trials far greater than I can comprehend. But yesterday I did what mattered. Today I can do the same. In simplicity of this moment, I can love.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
What to do today?
I posted this on my personal blog last week but thought that it would be appropriate here as well.
What to do today?
Many chores beckon,
Duties never-ending,
Children always needing,
Errands to be done.
But ...
Baby niece born last night
Tiny bundle of sweetness
Life beginning, makes me think
What really matters?
Should I vacuum all the house
Fold the laundry, organize,
Bead a necklace, shop for food,
Practice piano, write a song?
Somehow I don't know where to start
Today - just a Tuesday, I guess
But not.
This is the only "today" I have
These hours precious, not to be
Spent carelessly.
so tell me please
What would You have me do today?
What to do today?
Many chores beckon,
Duties never-ending,
Children always needing,
Errands to be done.
But ...
Baby niece born last night
Tiny bundle of sweetness
Life beginning, makes me think
What really matters?
Should I vacuum all the house
Fold the laundry, organize,
Bead a necklace, shop for food,
Practice piano, write a song?
Somehow I don't know where to start
Today - just a Tuesday, I guess
But not.
This is the only "today" I have
These hours precious, not to be
Spent carelessly.
so tell me please
What would You have me do today?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Something Worked!
So many things in my life don't work they way I want them to (like potty training my son and keeping up with the laundry and housework) that when something does work, I want to shout it from the housetops. While I realize that two days doesn't exactly indicate consistency, there is just something about what we did today and yesterday that feels right and lasting.
Yesterday and today, I actually had a devotional prayer time with the kids that was fun and life-giving for all of us! We have tried so many different things over the past couple of years that at times I've been very discouraged. Gradually I've given up on trying to do my ideal and just gone for what doesn't make me or the kids too frustrated. And in the process, we are gradually learning what works for us.
What we did today is really quite simple: First, we read a short section from Mark. I keep it very, very short (5-10 verses at most) so that there's a chance of keeping their attention. We are reading from the New Living Translation, which seems to have a good storytelling style of language. Then I ask the kids if they have any questions about the story or to tell me something they heard (just one thing, even if they can just remember one word I said, I count it success).
A side note about the kids actually hearing the Word: I have gradually come to believe that it is important that they get the living Word of God directly, not just Bible stories or devotional readings. The Bible promises that the Word brings life (Matthew 13:23). So I would rather they hear a few words from the Bible and not understand it all than many words of a story. For if His Word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11), then I believe that something they heard will stay in them and be magnified over their lifetime by the Holy Spirit until it actually does bring life to them.
If, after I've read the verses I've chosen, they don't remember any of it, I remind them that these are their life words. If they don't take their life words (like taking medicine), they will die. And the only way they can take their life medicine is through their ears. Then I read it again. I try to make the reading as fun as I'm able (my ability to do this varies greatly day to day). Sometimes I simply have them repeat every word or phrase after me. Other days I try to do dramatic voices and actions. Every now and then we're really creative and each child acts out part of the story. Then I ask them again to tell me something about the story or to ask a question. Usually by the second reading they have heard something. Hallelujah!
This next part is my favorite. Inspired by this post, we've started writing prayer requests on index cards. I pass out an index card to each child. We sing one of our favorite Bible verses, "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever," (Psalm 107:1). Then each child prays for the request on their card (mostly repeating after me). Then we sing another favorite verse, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4). The kids really get into this part as we clap and dance around.
I think the best part for me is that I feel a smile in my spirit afterwards, like we've really touched Heaven.
While we do have to be careful not to compare ourselves with one another (I am so prone to that!), it can sometimes be very encouraging to hear what others do so we can incorporate ideas that sound fun for our family. I'd love to hear what works for you! If you have an idea you'd like to share, please leave a comment so we can all be encouraged.
Note: Lest anyone think better of me than I really am, please do not misunderstand me. While my goal is to have a daily prayer time with my children, there are many days when it just does not happen. I have been learning, with them and in my own personal prayer time, to not look back and simply to see each day as a new day and a new opportunity. And though, on a day-to-day level, it looks very inconsistent, over the course of a month or a year we are actually making progress!
Yesterday and today, I actually had a devotional prayer time with the kids that was fun and life-giving for all of us! We have tried so many different things over the past couple of years that at times I've been very discouraged. Gradually I've given up on trying to do my ideal and just gone for what doesn't make me or the kids too frustrated. And in the process, we are gradually learning what works for us.
What we did today is really quite simple: First, we read a short section from Mark. I keep it very, very short (5-10 verses at most) so that there's a chance of keeping their attention. We are reading from the New Living Translation, which seems to have a good storytelling style of language. Then I ask the kids if they have any questions about the story or to tell me something they heard (just one thing, even if they can just remember one word I said, I count it success).
A side note about the kids actually hearing the Word: I have gradually come to believe that it is important that they get the living Word of God directly, not just Bible stories or devotional readings. The Bible promises that the Word brings life (Matthew 13:23). So I would rather they hear a few words from the Bible and not understand it all than many words of a story. For if His Word does not return void (Isaiah 55:11), then I believe that something they heard will stay in them and be magnified over their lifetime by the Holy Spirit until it actually does bring life to them.
If, after I've read the verses I've chosen, they don't remember any of it, I remind them that these are their life words. If they don't take their life words (like taking medicine), they will die. And the only way they can take their life medicine is through their ears. Then I read it again. I try to make the reading as fun as I'm able (my ability to do this varies greatly day to day). Sometimes I simply have them repeat every word or phrase after me. Other days I try to do dramatic voices and actions. Every now and then we're really creative and each child acts out part of the story. Then I ask them again to tell me something about the story or to ask a question. Usually by the second reading they have heard something. Hallelujah!
This next part is my favorite. Inspired by this post, we've started writing prayer requests on index cards. I pass out an index card to each child. We sing one of our favorite Bible verses, "Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, His love endures forever," (Psalm 107:1). Then each child prays for the request on their card (mostly repeating after me). Then we sing another favorite verse, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, Rejoice!" (Philippians 4:4). The kids really get into this part as we clap and dance around.
I think the best part for me is that I feel a smile in my spirit afterwards, like we've really touched Heaven.
While we do have to be careful not to compare ourselves with one another (I am so prone to that!), it can sometimes be very encouraging to hear what others do so we can incorporate ideas that sound fun for our family. I'd love to hear what works for you! If you have an idea you'd like to share, please leave a comment so we can all be encouraged.
Note: Lest anyone think better of me than I really am, please do not misunderstand me. While my goal is to have a daily prayer time with my children, there are many days when it just does not happen. I have been learning, with them and in my own personal prayer time, to not look back and simply to see each day as a new day and a new opportunity. And though, on a day-to-day level, it looks very inconsistent, over the course of a month or a year we are actually making progress!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Quiet the Noise!
What does a bookish, peace-loving escapist do when she has four children ages five and under? Run? Hide under the covers? (Many days I’ve wanted to.) Or pray? Life with my little “bonbons” has driven me to prayer more than anything else. My life drives me to desperation on a near-daily basis. I find that the pressure of my current circumstances is what has motivated me to seek the Lord with a passion and intensity previously unknown to me. I used to float through life in a semi-dream state (just ask my mom). Now I am forced to encounter present reality nearly every moment of the day.
As I write this, I am sitting at the house of prayer. My wakeful (and, for the past hour-and-a-half, fussy) seven-week-old is struggling against the wrap in which I have him tied to me. I'm hoping he’ll go to sleep. I would like to snatch half an hour of peace away from the house which never seems quite picked up no matter how hard I try, the laundry that is never fully done, and the computer that beckons me to plan, research, buy, do, and escape through hours of endless browsing.
There is always far more to do than I can possibly accomplish. After I have cared for my children’s physical and emotional needs there is always much more I want or need to do: more housework, more email, more reading (yeah right, though I do snatch time for my favorite activity), more study, more projects … and even when I stop to spend time with the Lord, I have to choose how I will do it. Do I turn on the IHOP stream and worship? Or do I do an in-depth Bible study (and, if that, which of the many studies I want to do will I work on today)? Do I read something from my stack of books or listen to an RHOP podcast? Do I meditate on one verse or read several chapters? Or do I simply sit quietly and listen? I feel overwhelmed with options.
I am becoming convinced that which option I choose isn’t really the issue. God is not limited to one form of communication. He can speak to me through any of them. The real question is why I am coming into His presence. Is it to check another task off my to-do list, or to encounter Him? Over the past few years, I have made several lifestyle choices to make more room for seeking the Lord. But even with fewer distractions in my life, it is too easy to fill every moment with noise, even if the noise comes only from my own thoughts. In the midst of living a lifestyle meant to encourage the pursuit of God, I can still miss actually meeting with Him.
Lord, help me! Help me to let go of everything but my hunger for You. Stoke the flame of desire in me until everything else falls away and I am face-to-face with You. “I will seek You in the quiet place” of my soul. Amid the noise of life, let my spirit rest in You until all is quiet within. Let me be attentive to what is on Your heart today.
The baby finally fell asleep. :)
This was written in my journal several months ago, but I am just now posting it. It seems appropriate as we begin focusing on The Power of a Focused Life for the next few weeks.
As I write this, I am sitting at the house of prayer. My wakeful (and, for the past hour-and-a-half, fussy) seven-week-old is struggling against the wrap in which I have him tied to me. I'm hoping he’ll go to sleep. I would like to snatch half an hour of peace away from the house which never seems quite picked up no matter how hard I try, the laundry that is never fully done, and the computer that beckons me to plan, research, buy, do, and escape through hours of endless browsing.
There is always far more to do than I can possibly accomplish. After I have cared for my children’s physical and emotional needs there is always much more I want or need to do: more housework, more email, more reading (yeah right, though I do snatch time for my favorite activity), more study, more projects … and even when I stop to spend time with the Lord, I have to choose how I will do it. Do I turn on the IHOP stream and worship? Or do I do an in-depth Bible study (and, if that, which of the many studies I want to do will I work on today)? Do I read something from my stack of books or listen to an RHOP podcast? Do I meditate on one verse or read several chapters? Or do I simply sit quietly and listen? I feel overwhelmed with options.
I am becoming convinced that which option I choose isn’t really the issue. God is not limited to one form of communication. He can speak to me through any of them. The real question is why I am coming into His presence. Is it to check another task off my to-do list, or to encounter Him? Over the past few years, I have made several lifestyle choices to make more room for seeking the Lord. But even with fewer distractions in my life, it is too easy to fill every moment with noise, even if the noise comes only from my own thoughts. In the midst of living a lifestyle meant to encourage the pursuit of God, I can still miss actually meeting with Him.
Lord, help me! Help me to let go of everything but my hunger for You. Stoke the flame of desire in me until everything else falls away and I am face-to-face with You. “I will seek You in the quiet place” of my soul. Amid the noise of life, let my spirit rest in You until all is quiet within. Let me be attentive to what is on Your heart today.
The baby finally fell asleep. :)
This was written in my journal several months ago, but I am just now posting it. It seems appropriate as we begin focusing on The Power of a Focused Life for the next few weeks.
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Season We're In
I wrote this post on my personal blog to share my thoughts on adoption, but I thought that it might be encouraging to all moms. Please click here if you'd like to read it.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Lesson on the Beach
About a month ago, my family was privileged to be invited to a beach house on the coast for several days. With our four very little children, we haven't yet been adventurous enough to take many family vacations. But, with other family members going along and a big house to stay in, this one seemed pretty safe, so we decided to take the plunge.
Vacationing with little ones is a lot of work, to say the least. By the time we were finally on the road, our van packed to the gills and then some, we were pretty exhausted and more than a little wondering whether it was worth it. After we'd been driving for about an hour, though, a lighter mood began to set in, and we started laughing about the many mishaps that had accompanied our attempts over the past hour just to get away from our house. Though it was now dinner time, we decided (with our kids' unanimous approval) to snack on trail mix and get going. (Good thing, too, because if we hadn't we might have given up and just stayed home.)
A couple of days later, though, my doubts about the sanity of whole thing returned with a vengeance. We tried each morning to get down to the beach to spend the morning there before lunch, naps, and sundown took over the rest of the day. However, by the time everyone was breakfasted, diapered, dressed, SPF'd (that part alone took half an hour), diapered again, and we had trekked down to the beach, it was invariably eleven o'clock and everyone was starting to get hungry again. Of course, we hadn't wanted to take the time to pack a lunch, so we were at least half an hour from food. (Thank heaven we'd remembered to bring the trail mix!)
The second day, just as we arrived at our favorite spot on the beach, my husband realized that we had forgotten our camera. He left rather abruptly to return to the beach house to get it. The kids had cousins to play with, so I began to get settled in to nurse the baby. Just as I sat down on a beach blanket, my three-year-old started crying that she just had to go to the bathroom right that minute. There was no way she could wait. My first thought was, "You just went before we left the house, and not only that, but we just passed the bathroom on the way to this spot, and it's a ten-minute walk back over scalding hot sand and through crowds of half-clad teenagers!" I tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted that she really had to go.
Grumpily, I dumped the baby in my grandmother's arms, grabbed my kids (everyone but Mommy thought a trip to the bathroom sounded like a fun adventure), and began marching off in the direction we had just come. Almost immediately we were accosted by a large dog, which in my children's mind is equal to a fire-breathing dragon. (He actually never came near us, but that didn't matter; his mere presence was enough to terrify them.) After some impatient coaxing, I got them past the dog, but then the hot sand began to burn their feet. Of course, in my haste, I had neglected to have them put the shoes that they had just kicked off back onto their feet. (After all, that would have added another five minutes to the trip!) I sighed, put my two-year-old on my shoulders, and sent the three- and five-year-old girls back the hundred yards we'd come so far to get their shoes. I don't remember how they made it past the dog, but they did. Several minutes later, with no sign of the girls, I started to worry that something might have happened to them. I started dragging myself back to check on them when they rounded the rocks toward me, explaining that they had been afraid to return alone because of the dog. I refused to say anything because I knew nothing I could say at that moment could be good for any of us. They bounced alongside me as I marched, half dragging them across the hot sand. After a few minutes they decided that hot sand wasn't so fun and began to whine. "WHY are we walking back to the bathrooms?" I asked. "Then DON'T COMPLAIN! I don't want to hear it!" All the time, inside, I was asking God, "Why did You give me these children? Why are we even here? You must have some point in this. PLEASE show it to me, because I am NOT having fun right now!" Sunscreen stung my eyes so that I could hardly see. My hair was blowing in my face. The sand was really hot, burning my feet too, and my two-year-old (still with no shoes on) was really heavy to carry over the sand dune. And all around me, carefree teenagers cavorted, sunbathed, and flaunted their freedom in my face.
Finally we made it to the bathroom. The emergency potty culprit sat on the toilet and almost immediately declared that she didn't have to go after all. I had no sense of humor at that moment. Barely cloaking my fury in sarcasm, I responded that I did not think walking back and forth all day over hot sand dunes was very fun and that we were not leaving that bathroom until something came out of her little bottom. I plopped down on a bench, set the heavy toddler down, sternly warned him not to move, and again asked God what was the point of all this. His answer immediately resonated through my soul: "You just served My little one." I sensed His pleasure washing over me, bringing a peace that had not existed in me just seconds before. More than a little ashamed of my tantrum (and relieved when she triumphantly declared success), a rather chastened and much more relaxed mommy helped a happy three-year-old wash her hands and made sure the five-year-old also made use of the facilities while we were there.
On the way back, I reflected that whether I got to do anything that I wanted to do on the trip was really unimportant. What suddenly mattered more than anything else was serving His little ones. If He found such pleasure in my doing that, bad attitude and all, then why not make that my goal? It was certainly more attainable than insisting on the fulfillment of my own selfish pleasure. By the time we got back to our cool spot on the beach, I was nearly free of all resentment. I figured that I would sit down and feed the baby, the kids would play with Daddy, and then we'd all head back to the beach house for lunch. And I was OK with that.
As it turned out, I did feed the baby, and the kids did play with Daddy. We then proceeded to have the best time together of the whole trip. Baby slept in Grandma's arms and trail mix staved off hunger an extra hour while we ran in the surf, wrote in the sand, explored tide pools, gathered shells, and took lots of pictures. And I enjoyed it all the more because by then I was simply grateful for the unexpected blessing of having a good time after all.
Vacationing with little ones is a lot of work, to say the least. By the time we were finally on the road, our van packed to the gills and then some, we were pretty exhausted and more than a little wondering whether it was worth it. After we'd been driving for about an hour, though, a lighter mood began to set in, and we started laughing about the many mishaps that had accompanied our attempts over the past hour just to get away from our house. Though it was now dinner time, we decided (with our kids' unanimous approval) to snack on trail mix and get going. (Good thing, too, because if we hadn't we might have given up and just stayed home.)
A couple of days later, though, my doubts about the sanity of whole thing returned with a vengeance. We tried each morning to get down to the beach to spend the morning there before lunch, naps, and sundown took over the rest of the day. However, by the time everyone was breakfasted, diapered, dressed, SPF'd (that part alone took half an hour), diapered again, and we had trekked down to the beach, it was invariably eleven o'clock and everyone was starting to get hungry again. Of course, we hadn't wanted to take the time to pack a lunch, so we were at least half an hour from food. (Thank heaven we'd remembered to bring the trail mix!)
The second day, just as we arrived at our favorite spot on the beach, my husband realized that we had forgotten our camera. He left rather abruptly to return to the beach house to get it. The kids had cousins to play with, so I began to get settled in to nurse the baby. Just as I sat down on a beach blanket, my three-year-old started crying that she just had to go to the bathroom right that minute. There was no way she could wait. My first thought was, "You just went before we left the house, and not only that, but we just passed the bathroom on the way to this spot, and it's a ten-minute walk back over scalding hot sand and through crowds of half-clad teenagers!" I tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted that she really had to go.
Grumpily, I dumped the baby in my grandmother's arms, grabbed my kids (everyone but Mommy thought a trip to the bathroom sounded like a fun adventure), and began marching off in the direction we had just come. Almost immediately we were accosted by a large dog, which in my children's mind is equal to a fire-breathing dragon. (He actually never came near us, but that didn't matter; his mere presence was enough to terrify them.) After some impatient coaxing, I got them past the dog, but then the hot sand began to burn their feet. Of course, in my haste, I had neglected to have them put the shoes that they had just kicked off back onto their feet. (After all, that would have added another five minutes to the trip!) I sighed, put my two-year-old on my shoulders, and sent the three- and five-year-old girls back the hundred yards we'd come so far to get their shoes. I don't remember how they made it past the dog, but they did. Several minutes later, with no sign of the girls, I started to worry that something might have happened to them. I started dragging myself back to check on them when they rounded the rocks toward me, explaining that they had been afraid to return alone because of the dog. I refused to say anything because I knew nothing I could say at that moment could be good for any of us. They bounced alongside me as I marched, half dragging them across the hot sand. After a few minutes they decided that hot sand wasn't so fun and began to whine. "WHY are we walking back to the bathrooms?" I asked. "Then DON'T COMPLAIN! I don't want to hear it!" All the time, inside, I was asking God, "Why did You give me these children? Why are we even here? You must have some point in this. PLEASE show it to me, because I am NOT having fun right now!" Sunscreen stung my eyes so that I could hardly see. My hair was blowing in my face. The sand was really hot, burning my feet too, and my two-year-old (still with no shoes on) was really heavy to carry over the sand dune. And all around me, carefree teenagers cavorted, sunbathed, and flaunted their freedom in my face.
Finally we made it to the bathroom. The emergency potty culprit sat on the toilet and almost immediately declared that she didn't have to go after all. I had no sense of humor at that moment. Barely cloaking my fury in sarcasm, I responded that I did not think walking back and forth all day over hot sand dunes was very fun and that we were not leaving that bathroom until something came out of her little bottom. I plopped down on a bench, set the heavy toddler down, sternly warned him not to move, and again asked God what was the point of all this. His answer immediately resonated through my soul: "You just served My little one." I sensed His pleasure washing over me, bringing a peace that had not existed in me just seconds before. More than a little ashamed of my tantrum (and relieved when she triumphantly declared success), a rather chastened and much more relaxed mommy helped a happy three-year-old wash her hands and made sure the five-year-old also made use of the facilities while we were there.
On the way back, I reflected that whether I got to do anything that I wanted to do on the trip was really unimportant. What suddenly mattered more than anything else was serving His little ones. If He found such pleasure in my doing that, bad attitude and all, then why not make that my goal? It was certainly more attainable than insisting on the fulfillment of my own selfish pleasure. By the time we got back to our cool spot on the beach, I was nearly free of all resentment. I figured that I would sit down and feed the baby, the kids would play with Daddy, and then we'd all head back to the beach house for lunch. And I was OK with that.
As it turned out, I did feed the baby, and the kids did play with Daddy. We then proceeded to have the best time together of the whole trip. Baby slept in Grandma's arms and trail mix staved off hunger an extra hour while we ran in the surf, wrote in the sand, explored tide pools, gathered shells, and took lots of pictures. And I enjoyed it all the more because by then I was simply grateful for the unexpected blessing of having a good time after all.
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| 2008May_Di |
Friday, March 28, 2008
A Word on Mothering
This is an encouraging word that was sent to me by someone I respect greatly: my Mama! I thought that I would like to share it with you:
Be encouraged today!
This morning as I was soaking in the streaming prayer room God gave me this for you girls.
"There is a season to be able to be in My presence without interruption. That is not your time now. This is your time to be a mommy and all the gifts that go with this calling. I will meet you many times through out your day. There will be moments without interruption here and there look for those.
"Know, My daughters, that it delights My heart for you to spend this season pouring yourself into your children. I love them so greatly and prize them so dearly that I gave My only, beloved, unique Son so that they can live with Me forever. You are leading them on that journey, that path to find me. Do not despise the season you are in. You are loving Me as you love them. You kiss Me when you kiss them. You spend time with Me when you spend time with them. I delight in you; let them see that you delight in them. Teach them what delight is. I long for your heart; long for their heart. I gaze upon you; gaze upon them. I enjoy you; enjoy them. It is as you do these things and sprinkle My truth into them throughout the day that they will come to know Me. It is as you do this that they will long for Me.
"Don't ever let them feel like they are a distraction to you, that they get in the way of your time with Me. They are what I given you to do at this season of your life. You will have many other seasons in your life. You will enjoy those seasons so much more if you are obedient to Me in this season."
Luke 18:16, 'Let the children come to me. Don't stop them. People who are like these children belong to God's kingdom.'
Matthew 6:20-21, 'But gather and heap up and store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust, nor worm consume and destroy, and where thieves do not break through and steal; for where your treasure is there will your heart be also.'
If this is for you, I pray that it will bless you!
Be encouraged today!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Three Lessons I've Learned (I Hope)
The past few weeks I have had to sit and lie down most of the time. Others have amazed me with their willingness to come alongside and help care for my children and household. And, while I have been tired, in pain, and generally having a bad attitude, God has been using this time to teach me some much-needed lessons. I didn't know it would take getting what I wanted (some time off to rest) to bring me face-to-face with myself.
Lesson 1: Being able to rest all the time (and have others do my work) doesn’t solve my problems. In my imagination, if I had all the time in the world, I would spend lots more of it reading my Bible, praying, worshiping, etc. But it is no easier to focus on God when I am in bed all day than it is when I am busy. It's just as hard to fight through boredom to connect with Him as it is to fight through busyness.
Lesson 2: I need to listen to my body more, and stop when I need to rest, even if not everything gets done. It's okay to stop now and then. In fact, the kids love it. Mommy is finally still enough for us to sit on her lap!
Lesson 3: The work will, somehow, get done (even if I have to ask for help), but my children can only be taught by me. Only I can invest in them the way God wants me to. If I don’t connect with them, they will be influenced by whoever else spends time with them, whether that is a friend, relative, or the television. I am jealous for that person to be me!
It is so easy to get it mixed up, because at the end of the day it is easy to point out all that I’ve gotten done and feel good about having a clean house. (Oh, that rotten pride!) It is harder to feel I have something to show for the day when I have invested time in my children but my to-do list has un-checked chores. I don’t think it’s an either/or situation. God must have a way for me to do everything that I need to do. But I am finding that, just as with my quiet time, if I don’t put my children’s education before housework, it ends up rarely happening. If I do put it first, I trust that the other will find a way of getting done more efficiently.
So on to the second priority! God first, family second. I'm grateful that God has removed my ability to do anything at all so that He can show me more clearly the way He wants me to prioritize my time.
Who then is the faithful, thoughtful, and wise servant, whom his master has put in charge of his household to give to the others the food and supplies at the proper time? Blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) is that servant whom, when his master comes, he will find so doing. I solemnly declare to you, he will set him over all his possessions (Mt. 24:45-47).
Lesson 1: Being able to rest all the time (and have others do my work) doesn’t solve my problems. In my imagination, if I had all the time in the world, I would spend lots more of it reading my Bible, praying, worshiping, etc. But it is no easier to focus on God when I am in bed all day than it is when I am busy. It's just as hard to fight through boredom to connect with Him as it is to fight through busyness.
Lesson 2: I need to listen to my body more, and stop when I need to rest, even if not everything gets done. It's okay to stop now and then. In fact, the kids love it. Mommy is finally still enough for us to sit on her lap!
Lesson 3: The work will, somehow, get done (even if I have to ask for help), but my children can only be taught by me. Only I can invest in them the way God wants me to. If I don’t connect with them, they will be influenced by whoever else spends time with them, whether that is a friend, relative, or the television. I am jealous for that person to be me!
It is so easy to get it mixed up, because at the end of the day it is easy to point out all that I’ve gotten done and feel good about having a clean house. (Oh, that rotten pride!) It is harder to feel I have something to show for the day when I have invested time in my children but my to-do list has un-checked chores. I don’t think it’s an either/or situation. God must have a way for me to do everything that I need to do. But I am finding that, just as with my quiet time, if I don’t put my children’s education before housework, it ends up rarely happening. If I do put it first, I trust that the other will find a way of getting done more efficiently.
So on to the second priority! God first, family second. I'm grateful that God has removed my ability to do anything at all so that He can show me more clearly the way He wants me to prioritize my time.
Who then is the faithful, thoughtful, and wise servant, whom his master has put in charge of his household to give to the others the food and supplies at the proper time? Blessed (happy, fortunate, and to be envied) is that servant whom, when his master comes, he will find so doing. I solemnly declare to you, he will set him over all his possessions (Mt. 24:45-47).
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
What About My Children?
One question I have struggled with over the past year is this: If I am called to pursue God as my main goal in life (as is every believer), what about my children? What do I do about these wonderful, amazing, needy, overwhelming people that God has given me to care for? They have been my primary excuse for not pursuing God in the past. Recently, He gave me the bottom-line answer that I've been needing. And it came, no surprise, through my favorite devotional author.
"Where does Jesus Christ figure in when we have a concern about our natural relationships?" (My heart-ears pricked up when I read this.)
"Most of us will desert Him with this excuse -- 'Yes, Lord, I heard you call me, but my family needs me and I have my own interests. I just can't go any further' (see Luke 9:57-62)." (That's pretty much what I used to say.)
" 'Then,' Jesus says, 'you cannot be my disciple' (see Luke 14:26-33)." (Ugh. Okay, I'm listening!)
"If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God" (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, 3-12).
Can it be any clearer? My life must display complete surrender to God. Surrender even of the consequences to my children if I really give myself to knowing God. What about them? God will care for them. Far better, by the way, than I can, with all my worries, frustrations, and hangups.
I am not implying here any neglect of our families. If we begin to abandon our families, we are no longer living in obedience to Christ, but in slavery to selfishness. (I actually know of a mom who left her family in pursuit of her "calling," but she was deceived and destroyed her family.) As we pursue God, we will grow in respect for our husbands, love for our children, and service to our families. But we must do it out of devotion and obedience to Christ, not primarily because they need us.
And in the end we will find that they have benefited from our wholehearted love for Jesus far more than we could have imagined.
"Where does Jesus Christ figure in when we have a concern about our natural relationships?" (My heart-ears pricked up when I read this.)
"Most of us will desert Him with this excuse -- 'Yes, Lord, I heard you call me, but my family needs me and I have my own interests. I just can't go any further' (see Luke 9:57-62)." (That's pretty much what I used to say.)
" 'Then,' Jesus says, 'you cannot be my disciple' (see Luke 14:26-33)." (Ugh. Okay, I'm listening!)
"If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God" (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, 3-12).
Can it be any clearer? My life must display complete surrender to God. Surrender even of the consequences to my children if I really give myself to knowing God. What about them? God will care for them. Far better, by the way, than I can, with all my worries, frustrations, and hangups.
I am not implying here any neglect of our families. If we begin to abandon our families, we are no longer living in obedience to Christ, but in slavery to selfishness. (I actually know of a mom who left her family in pursuit of her "calling," but she was deceived and destroyed her family.) As we pursue God, we will grow in respect for our husbands, love for our children, and service to our families. But we must do it out of devotion and obedience to Christ, not primarily because they need us.
And in the end we will find that they have benefited from our wholehearted love for Jesus far more than we could have imagined.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
One Thing
This is something I shared at RHOP this evening, and I want to share it here as well:
“. . . [W]e must have the willingness to stop everything to further develop our life of prayer” (Bob Hartley, Prophetic Insight, Vision for 2007).
As moms, it is so easy to be distracted by the many good things we want to do with/for our children. Home school, sports, extracurricular activities, housework, all can eat up our days. But One Thing must come first. We must learn to live the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle ourselves, model it to our children, and teach it to them as normal Christianity. In order to do that, we must go deep in God. We, perhaps more than any other vocational calling, can no longer satisfy ourselves with Sunday Christianity and gleaning from the plates of others. We are raising up God’s warriors. We must know what we’re doing, what His heart is toward us and them. We are preparing the end-time generation. If we do not have a deep, firm foundation of personal knowledge of God, then how will we pass this on to our children? It is absolutely urgent that we begin to seek God now, with all our hearts, and let everything else take second place.
“. . . God must be woven into all areas of life and invited into every hidden corner . . . “ (Hartley).
We no longer have the luxury of separating our lives into compartments. God must invade our every moment, every thought, every decision, every interaction. We must not be satisfied until we have His presence manifest in our lives and our families. Let us discover joy in our life’s purpose, begin hearing God’s heart, and greatly honor His desires above our own. Let us substantially alter our priorities to match the priorities of heaven.
(Much wording borrowed from Hartley.)
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