A deceptive fantasy has been my constant companion. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "You can do it. You have to do it. You can slow down once you get it all done. Then you can play with your kids. Then you can take them to the park. Then you can relax."
The elusive then.
And recently I realized something profound.
Then will never come.
The fantasy shifts, elusive. Some days it looks like a spic 'n' span house. (Most days.)
Some days it looks like six baby books all updated and full of pictures (ha!).
Some days it looks like all the kids' school work done and all our goals met for the week.
Some days it looks like all the laundry caught up [hysterical laughter].
The fantasy changes, but one thing is consistent. Whatever I have accomplished, it tells me that I must do more. There is no time to be, for it always demands more.
So I have made a decision.
No more fantasy.
I am going to live my dream life now. Right in the middle of the mess, piles of laundry that are never caught up, toys that are never all picked up, dishes that are never completely done, baby books that may never be caught up, and goals that may rarely be met.
I will enjoy my life and enjoy my children. Today.
Goodbye, deceptive fantasy. Hello, beautiful reality.
Showing posts with label mothering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mothering. Show all posts
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Monday, October 19, 2009
What a Waste
What a waste God makes of His resources. Wouldn't I be better used serving Him in a more public way, ministering to hundreds or thousands? He's given me some talent. Isn't it wasted day after day as I am hidden behind these four walls? I can sing, but the only people who hear me are a few little children. I write love songs to Him, but the only people who learn them are barely able to read. I have some ability to draw, but I rarely have time as I change diapers and feed babies day and night. The poetry I write lies between the covers of my journal. What is He doing? Why is He wasting my life like this? I have so much more to give!
To be honest, these are some of the thoughts that come to mind when I have a moment to stop and think. They bubble under the surface of my consciousness, undermining my emotions even when I am not aware of them. When they are exposed, I show them to the only One who can answer my questions. Gently He begins to dig more deeply, probing my heart:
"You have the most important assignment that I could give to you. The little ones I have put into your care are so precious to me that I have given them my best. You. All the talents and gifts I have given to you, all the passion and desire, are meant to be poured into them day and night. You may not minister widely, but you will minister deeply to these few I have given you."
Then I remember. Didn't He waste His Son in the same way? And I am satisfied.
To be honest, these are some of the thoughts that come to mind when I have a moment to stop and think. They bubble under the surface of my consciousness, undermining my emotions even when I am not aware of them. When they are exposed, I show them to the only One who can answer my questions. Gently He begins to dig more deeply, probing my heart:
"You have the most important assignment that I could give to you. The little ones I have put into your care are so precious to me that I have given them my best. You. All the talents and gifts I have given to you, all the passion and desire, are meant to be poured into them day and night. You may not minister widely, but you will minister deeply to these few I have given you."
Then I remember. Didn't He waste His Son in the same way? And I am satisfied.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Mother's Day Giveaway
Hey moms, enter this amazing Mother's Day giveaway! Thanks to Alicia for letting us know about this.
Friday, March 06, 2009
Desire
I have felt God call my heart to deeper intimacy. As a wife and mother, I have also felt that this was not practical for me at this time in my life. Having a short devotional time in the morning was often more than I could manage. So, for a couple of years, I tried to tell my heart to wait until my children are older. Finally, I could no longer stand it. In desperation, I cried out to God to show me how I can pursue Him even now.
I have talked with other moms who tell me that they feel the same way. One mom shared that God showed her that her children are like weights strapped to her arms and legs. She cried out to God, how do you expect me to run the race with so much to carry? He told her that she would not run fast, but she would become strong. So this blog is for any mom who, like me, needs the encouragement of others on this race (sometimes it feels like an obstacle course!) of godly motherhood.
I love this quote from Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon:
“. . . you may feel that you simply are not one of those people capable of a deep experience with Jesus Christ. Most Christians do not feel that they have been called to a deep, inward relationship to their Lord. But we have all been called to the depths of Christ just as surely as we have been called to salvation."
If all have been called, then that includes moms. I believe that mothers do not have to wait until their children are grown to pursue God in a deeper way. Let us encourage each other so that we will not grow weary on this journey alone.
Lord, it is so difficult for us as moms to commit to anything for ourselves. Give us a holy determination to push through every obstacle. Begin to transform our perspective. Show us how much more You have for us, even today.
(Originally posted 7/24/06)
I have talked with other moms who tell me that they feel the same way. One mom shared that God showed her that her children are like weights strapped to her arms and legs. She cried out to God, how do you expect me to run the race with so much to carry? He told her that she would not run fast, but she would become strong. So this blog is for any mom who, like me, needs the encouragement of others on this race (sometimes it feels like an obstacle course!) of godly motherhood.
I love this quote from Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ by Jeanne Guyon:
“. . . you may feel that you simply are not one of those people capable of a deep experience with Jesus Christ. Most Christians do not feel that they have been called to a deep, inward relationship to their Lord. But we have all been called to the depths of Christ just as surely as we have been called to salvation."
If all have been called, then that includes moms. I believe that mothers do not have to wait until their children are grown to pursue God in a deeper way. Let us encourage each other so that we will not grow weary on this journey alone.
Lord, it is so difficult for us as moms to commit to anything for ourselves. Give us a holy determination to push through every obstacle. Begin to transform our perspective. Show us how much more You have for us, even today.
(Originally posted 7/24/06)
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Most Important Person
The following was shared by a new friend of mine. Thanks, Monica!
The Most Important Person
on earth is a mother. She
cannot claim the honor of
having built Notre Dame Cathedral.
She need not.
She has built something more magnificent
than any cathedral-a dwelling for an
immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's
body…The angels have not been blessed with such a
grace. They cannot share in God's creative miracle
to bring new saints to Heaven.
Only a human mother can. Mothers
are closer to God the Creator
than any other creature;
God joins forces with mothers
in performing this act of creation…
What on God's good earth is more glorious than this:
to be a mother?
-Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty
Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty's respect for Mothers was deep and abiding. He wrote one book on a Mother and had planned two more; however, his imprisonment by the Nazis and then the Communists prevented the completion of his work.
The Most Important Person
on earth is a mother. She
cannot claim the honor of
having built Notre Dame Cathedral.
She need not.
She has built something more magnificent
than any cathedral-a dwelling for an
immortal soul, the tiny perfection of her baby's
body…The angels have not been blessed with such a
grace. They cannot share in God's creative miracle
to bring new saints to Heaven.
Only a human mother can. Mothers
are closer to God the Creator
than any other creature;
God joins forces with mothers
in performing this act of creation…
What on God's good earth is more glorious than this:
to be a mother?
-Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty
Joseph Cardinal Mindszenty's respect for Mothers was deep and abiding. He wrote one book on a Mother and had planned two more; however, his imprisonment by the Nazis and then the Communists prevented the completion of his work.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Invisible Mother
This story encouraged me today. I hope it will you, too.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.
I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.
Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously, not.
No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.
I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.
I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.
I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.
It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Season We're In
I wrote this post on my personal blog to share my thoughts on adoption, but I thought that it might be encouraging to all moms. Please click here if you'd like to read it.
Friday, March 28, 2008
A Word on Mothering
This is an encouraging word that was sent to me by someone I respect greatly: my Mama! I thought that I would like to share it with you:
Be encouraged today!
This morning as I was soaking in the streaming prayer room God gave me this for you girls.
"There is a season to be able to be in My presence without interruption. That is not your time now. This is your time to be a mommy and all the gifts that go with this calling. I will meet you many times through out your day. There will be moments without interruption here and there look for those.
"Know, My daughters, that it delights My heart for you to spend this season pouring yourself into your children. I love them so greatly and prize them so dearly that I gave My only, beloved, unique Son so that they can live with Me forever. You are leading them on that journey, that path to find me. Do not despise the season you are in. You are loving Me as you love them. You kiss Me when you kiss them. You spend time with Me when you spend time with them. I delight in you; let them see that you delight in them. Teach them what delight is. I long for your heart; long for their heart. I gaze upon you; gaze upon them. I enjoy you; enjoy them. It is as you do these things and sprinkle My truth into them throughout the day that they will come to know Me. It is as you do this that they will long for Me.
"Don't ever let them feel like they are a distraction to you, that they get in the way of your time with Me. They are what I given you to do at this season of your life. You will have many other seasons in your life. You will enjoy those seasons so much more if you are obedient to Me in this season."
Luke 18:16, 'Let the children come to me. Don't stop them. People who are like these children belong to God's kingdom.'
Matthew 6:20-21, 'But gather and heap up and store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust, nor worm consume and destroy, and where thieves do not break through and steal; for where your treasure is there will your heart be also.'
If this is for you, I pray that it will bless you!
Be encouraged today!
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