Deceptive Fantasy

A deceptive fantasy has been my constant companion. Whispering sweet nothings in my ear. "You can do it. You have to do it. You can slow down once you get it all done. Then you can play with your kids. Then you can take them to the park. Then you can relax."

The elusive then.

And recently I realized something profound.

Then will never come.

The fantasy shifts, elusive. Some days it looks like a spic 'n' span house. (Most days.)

Some days it looks like six baby books all updated and full of pictures (ha!).

Some days it looks like all the kids' school work done and all our goals met for the week.

Some days it looks like all the laundry caught up [hysterical laughter].

The fantasy changes, but one thing is consistent. Whatever I have accomplished, it tells me that I must do more. There is no time to be, for it always demands more.

So I have made a decision.

No more fantasy.

I am going to live my dream life now. Right in the middle of the mess, piles of laundry that are never caught up, toys that are never all picked up, dishes that are never completely done, baby books that may never be caught up, and goals that may rarely be met.

I will enjoy my life and enjoy my children. Today.

Goodbye, deceptive fantasy. Hello, beautiful reality.