Shout for Joy?!?

Being forced to lie around while others do most of my work brings unique challenges. My phlegmatic nature enjoyed the first few days, but after awhile even I can start getting impatient with the boredom and lethargy (not to mention feeling bad that others are having to work extra hard to make up for me). I have really struggled with my attitude in the past few weeks. But God keeps speaking to me from Psalm 81 (and other similar passages).

Sing aloud to God our Strength! Shout for joy to the God of Jacob! (Psalm 81:1).

Me? Rejoice in triumph? Shout for joy? That's just about the last thing I feel like doing. I feel so discouraged and out of sorts … anything but joyful and triumphant. I guess I don’t have to feel triumphant in order to shout joyfully. I will obey in faith, even though it’s the opposite of how I feel. For You, Lord, are my strength, the life of my body and spirit, my security, the only One who is majestic and worthy of praise. I will blow an alarm and make a joyful noise to You, my God.

(This reminded me of the shofar my mom got from Israel many years ago. How she used to annoy and fascinate me by blowing it and shouting to God when I still lived in my parents' house! A bit sheepishly, I borrowed it from her. After all, as I discovered with a little research on e-Sword, the word used in Ps. 81:1 for "shout for joy" literally means to "blow an alarm" on the shofar.)

I removed his shoulder from the burden; his hands were freed from the basket (81:6).

You have chosen this time to remove my shoulder from the burden of my daily tasks. I cannot lead RHOP Moms, do my housework, or really do much of anything. You have freed my hands. I am spending my days lying down and resting, though chafing at it. Now that I have the freedom I have desired to meditate on You, read Your Word, and rest in You, I find it difficult to be focused. Instead, I feel guilty for lying down while others do the work, resentful when my body is weary and in pain, and complaining in my spirit. Amazing how it is still hard to focus on You even while I am doing nothing. When nausea hits, I am wearied of even thinking, and I just want to escape. But You are inviting me to a new place. A place where I yearn for You even when I don’t feel well. A place where I keep calling out to You even when I don’t feel You.

You called in distress and I delivered you; I answered you in the secret place of thunder; I tested you at the waters of Meribah. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]! (81:7).

Lord, I am in distress, and I am calling out to You. Deliver me from the bondage of my sinful nature. You have made me a new person, one who is like You. Help me to walk (or lie down) in Your Spirit, and not in the spirit of the flesh. I am weak, constantly struggling against the path You’ve given me to walk. Free me from a spirit of complaining. You are delivering this baby and me. You are daily providing the help that we need. In the midst of all Your provision, I am still complaining that it’s not enough, just as Israel did at Meribah. Teach me contentment and trust in You. Forgive me for my unbelief. You are answering me. You are enough for me.

I am the Lord your God, Who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide and I will fill it (81:10).

Lord, I will open my mouth to You in praise and adoration. You will feed me with the finest wheat of Your presence; with honey out of the Rock you will satisfy me (81:16). I will be satisfied in You. I will have no other gods before You, not gods of comfort or ease or physical health, not getting my own way, self-sufficiency, pride, or anger. I will embrace humility, gratitude, and joy. Keep pressing me, Lord. Make me sweet wine of Your presence, a fountain of living water flowing to refresh You and those around me. Thank you for the honey of Your Word, coming out of the Rock, Christ Jesus. Satisfy my soul with Your love.