I have been thinking: if I so anticipate the arrival of my children, why do I not enjoy them more once they have arrived? Why instead do I see them as a burden, as a drain on me? That is not how God sees them, nor is it how He sees me. He sees me as His greatest treasure, the desire of His heart. He delights in me even in my weakness and immaturity. But I seem to be waiting until they reach a certain level of maturity before I fully enjoy them. How unlike the Lord that is! Jesus is the one children run to, and He does not rebuke them. He welcomes them, wants them, and rejoices in them. They do not inconvenience Him.
Yes, I love my children passionately. But I believe it is not fully God's kind of love. I love the idea of who they are and who they will become. I do enjoy them emotionally at times, but that is not my normal mode of relating to them. Instead, I tend to see them more as an ongoing projects-—little souls to teach and train-—instead of people with whom to have relationship. I enjoy them when they are behaving well. But God enjoys them (and me) every moment. He is not disturbed by my failures. Even when He disciplines me, He is enjoying me. He is not doing it because He's at the end of His rope and doesn't know what else to do. He disciplines me because He loves me and knows what is best for me. He restores me to relationship with Him so that I can once again enjoy the love that He has never ceased to pour out upon me.
Lord, please forgive me for holding these precious treasures that You have entrusted to me in such little regard. Help me to see them as You see them and to love them as You love them. Let me see their waking and coming into my presence as my greatest joy, not as my daily burden. Give me a heart to serve them gladly as You serve me, and so to win their hearts to You. Bind us together, Lord, with cords that cannot be broken. Bind us together with love. Thank You for using my sense of duty and rightness to bring me this far in parenting my children. Now please, Abba, bring me further into a revelation of Your heart. Plant Your love for them deeply in my heart. I love You, Lord.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
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4 comments:
Hi Michelle:
This will be my first blog post
:0) I think you enjoy reading parenting books? I know that I sure do! When I read your post I immediately thought of Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp. Have you read that book? It's excellent and would probably give you greater insight into "building a relationship" with your little ones.
I also heard that Tripp is an excellent speaker and sometimes speaks at homeschooling conventions (he was at the Modesto conference last year)...I'll see if I can get a copy of the CD from my friend who went for you and I to borrow. I heard it was super-encouraging. Hope you have an awesome, blessed week!
Yes, I do enjoy reading parenting books! Especially ones that come well recommended. You are the second person to recommend this book to me. It's on my Amazon wish list!
Hi Michelle, I can relate to the message you posted on enjoying our children. I am currently struggling with my 3 year old son who is extremely difficult to control so I find it hard to keep calm and actually enjoy them, but I see what you mean, and I completely agree with it. Thanks. Adriana
Oh wow-you so accurately described how I have been feeling lately with my daughter! I love her so much, but I have such a struggle with just enjoying her. I want to enjoy her no matter what. Thank you so much for sharing-it is soo very good to know I am not alone and I am encouraged to keep crying out to Father that I will have His love for her. I was crying as I read this today-thank you for sharing!
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